Driving frantically to the White Plains hospital, I heard my wife say “pull over and call 911”. My daughter, Ava was floating in and out of consciousness and not really aware of what was happening. I was getting a real-time course on helplessness and desperation all rolled into a single, painful moment. In the coming weeks I would learn that these feelings were everyday experiences for my daughter. Getting to the hospital was the first triumph in a series of challenges we faced in September. Questions like “How close did I get to dying” , statements like “I want to die, just let me go” and “I have no future” are soul crushing. She was in therapy; we were doing everything we could. What happened?
Ava recovered physically and was referred to a mental health facility in Boston called McLean Hospital. McLean's 3East Continuum for Adolescents was determined to be her best option and we were willing to try anything. So with a combination of hope and trepidation, we drove to New England to an unremarkable residential community, shielded by a tall, old mason wall and surrounded by several quaint buildings. We were welcomed into a sunny, comfortable living room where gift bags were given to us. After introductions, they explained the high level intensive program which included group therapy, individual therapy, mindfulness training and dialectical behavioral therapy. She was also asked to participate in a Harvard Medical School brain based research project. She would be immersed in a therapeutic environment 24/7. And the price? Close to $11,000 per week for a minimum of 6 weeks. She stayed 8.
Parents are also immersed in the program - requiring a 5 hour weekly therapy commitment (plus homework!). Jess and I were taught, advised, therapized; it was a barrage of information. As a 3East family, we now have access to ongoing therapy & workshop programs forever. We would not see Ava for 3 weeks. Short supervised phone calls led to 60 minute visits on site. We drove 7 hours round trip and listened to a lot of Patriots football and sports radio. 3 weeks later we were allowed to take her off premise for lunch.
Ava was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD and BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is characterized with difficulty in regulating emotions and experiencing emotions intensely for long periods of time. It is very difficult to return to the baseline emotional state after a triggering event. In the normal course of the day a teen could have an argument with a friend, do poorly on a test, stress about homework, be mad at parents, etc. A typical teen could deal with these for the most part. But for a BPD teen, these events stack up leading to self-harm, feelings of emptiness, dangerous impulsivity and suicide. 75% of diagnosed BPD cases are women and approximately 10% of BPD patients die by suicide. After about 10 years of intensive skill training, one may be considered in remission.
Ava absorbed the information and left McLean with renewed hope, thinking about a future. 3East connected us with a therapist in NY that would continue their work and recommended a school to fit Ava’s needs. They got both right; she has a good connection with her therapist and she likes school as much as anyone with BPD can like school.
We were lucky; we were able to afford McLean’s 3East program. There is no doubt in my mind that this was the best money we ever spent. Really. But what about the thousands of families who can’t afford these services?. What do they do? This level of care should be available to everyone!
McLean, a private not-for-profit, is the top psychiatric hospital in the nation according to U.S. News & World Report. They rely on paying customers as well as donations to provide compassionate care, educate and train professionals, conduct cutting-edge research and advance the field of mental health. 3East is just a small part of an amazing organization at the forefront of mental health today. Currently, our society is experiencing an accelerating mental health crisis among adolescents, with more than 4 in 10 teens reporting that they feel “persistently sad or hopeless,” and 1 in 5 saying they have contemplated suicide.
I will be biking 50 miles with my brother in support of McLean hospital via The Ride for Mental Health. I am asking friends to sponsor me. All proceeds will go directly to McLean to fund education, research and treatment of mental illness including anxiety, borderline personality disorder, depression, eating disorders and substance abuse.
Here is the link: http://www.PledgeReg.com/318104
Thanks!