Our first daughter, Emma Elizabeth, was 6 lbs 4 ounces, and 20 inches long. She had a perfect little nose, flawless skin, big hands and feet, and a little crooked toe on each of her feet. She barely had any hair, just a little bit of peach fuzz that was kind of reddish in color. She died and then was born on December 8, 2014.
I know that I felt like I had been dropped into this deep, black abyss the day Emma died. Everything that I thought was my life now looked completely different. I remember being in my hospital bed thinking, ”I am supposed to live after this?” Any thoughts of healing or putting a shattered life back together seemed insurmountable and impossible. Our first contact with Empty Arms was through their companion program, when our companion came to our hospital room the evening of the day Emma died. She introduced herself, sat down next to us, shared her story, and shared with us the ways Empty Arms can help. I don’t remember what exactly was said, but I remember how it made me feel, which was less alone and hopeful that I could maybe, someday, be in a place where I, too, would be a survivor. It meant so much for someone to come into our room, look at our baby, and see past the fact that she was dead. We talked about Emma's little face, and how beautiful she looked. Our companion validated our baby’s existence. I could see that I was facing a painful and hard road, but there was someone who could hold onto the hope that I would eventually be living a meaningful, functional life again, even though I felt like it could not possibly exist. It was really so important to my healing that someone came to me, in my hospital room, on their own time, to offer their help and guidance on the worst day of my life. The support continued through the following weeks, months, and now years.
Your generous donation to our team will ultimately allow Empty Arms to continue fulfilling their goals: help families get the support they need, provide professionals who care for bereaved parents with the resources they need to do their job well, and to help the families and friends of the bereaved parents through the grief process associated with perinatal loss. Empty Arms does this through support groups, a companion program, as well as individual support for bereaved families. They also sponsor in-service and professional development seminars, providing hospital staff with training on how to be more compassionate caregivers.
Always on my mind, forever in my heart, Emma. Mama loves you.
Syrup Stampede
Syrup Stampede will be a fun, family friendly 5k run/walk event. Donations and raised funds will benefit Empty Arms, an organization geared toward helping families of the Pioneer Valley grieve the loss of a pregnancy or infant. The Empty Arms Community Members not only hope to raise awareness of this awesome organization but also hope to demonstrate our want and desire to integrate our losses into poistive events surrounding the memories of our babies.
Empty Arms Bereavement Support serves members of the Western Mass community whose babies have died at any time during pregnancy or early infancy. We look to provide and create a compassionate community, fostering connections, validation, and resources to grieving parents.